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dizzylemen
Welcome to my Inner Monologue
 
I am proud to be Canadian

I was sent this yesterday and it is so true for anyone who is PROUD TO BE CANADIAN!

 

What Do Canadians Have To Be Proud Of  EH!


         1. Smarties 

         2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp 

         3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down 

         4. Baseball is Canadian 

         5. Lacrosse is Canadian 

         6. Hockey is Canadian 

         7. Basketball is Canadian 

         8. Apple pie is Canadian 

         9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass 

         10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts & Crispy Cream's  ass(es)  (
There are more donut shops per capita in Canada than anywhere else in the world. There are currently over 2,200 Tim Hortons locations.) 

         11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the
Americans back...past their 'White House'. Then we burned it...and most of
Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and
hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home
and partied...Go figure.. 

         12. Canada has the largest French population that never
surrendered to Germany. 

         13. We have the largest English population that never ever
surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere. 

         14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an
hour. 

         15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an
American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing... but showed
up just in time to get caught. 

         16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on. 

         17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's
surface and is still around as the worlds oldest company. 

         18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown
human in under 3 minutes. 

         19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo. 

         20. We don't marry our kin-folk. 

         21. We invented .....
the thermos, Velcro, skidoos, jetskis, the telephone, basketball, hockey, lacrosse, five pin bowling, electric wheelchair, ginger ale, IMAX, insulin for diabetes treatment, instant potato flakes, lightbulbs (first patented), Superman, pacemaker, Pictionary, radio compass, retrackatable beer carton handle, roller skates, snowplough, Stanley Cup, , Spiderman, Trivial Pursuit, table hockey, walki-talki, washing machine, zipper, and short wave radios that save countless lives each year ..

         22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to
tell about it. 

         23.  In Canada, 12 beer is "1/2" a case. 

         24.  A Canadian invented Superman. 

         25.  Music 'superstars' are usually Canadian. 

          26. Don't even get started on hockey.  We're SO good at it, our team has to come down with a bad flu, not to win.......and just take home the 'bronze'.  Hockey trophies are getting smaller, since we're running out of places to put them all! 

          27.  We have nearly 1/2 of the world's potable water. 

           28. 
All Canadian have free access to health care with the exception of dental services. Most people over 65 receive their prescriptions for free. 

             29.  Time Zones, as in 'Standard Time' around the world...Canadian invention. 

             30. 
Canada consumes the most Kraft Diner per gallon per capita 

             31. 
The national animal is the beaver, which is proudly displayed on our nickel, which only consists of 2% nickel (nickel plated steel: 94.5% steel, 3.5% copper, 2% nickel).  NOT SEXY???  With a beaver as a national animal???? 

             32. 
Canada has the most coast line per country in the world, 202,080 km. 

             33. 
Canadian Tire money is the second most frequently used currency in Canada. 

             34.  O
ne of every five songs played on Canadian radio is performed by a Canadian artist....guaranteed by law! 

             35. 
It is illegal to kill a Sasquatch ('Bigfoot') in British Columbia or Alberta.  

             36.  Currently, Canada is the holder of both Olympic Gold medals for women and mens hockey and one of the only countries in the world able to blame numerous riots on hockey results, with multitude examples of drive-by shoutings.
 

          28.  So many Canadians are on American TV, that they are worried that whatever culture they have, will be at least diluted, if not totally filtered through Canadian culture.  This started years ago.     

  • Favourite TV father figure ...........................'Pa Cartright' (Lorne Greene) 'Bonanza'
  • Favourite TV leader/hero  ........................... 'Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner) 'Star Trek'
  • Favourite TV news anchour...........................'Peter Jennings' ABC Evening News
  • Favourite comedy ...........................................'Saturday Night Live'  (just about EVERYONE was Canadian)
  • Favourite economist ......................................'John Kenith Galbraith' (President Kennedy's chief advisor) 



         BUT MOST IMPORTANT!


     The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands
with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!! 

    
I AM CANADIAN!!!

Oh yeah... and our elections only take one day, AND we can have as many as we want!. 

 

Is Homer Simpson Canadian?

In Montreal for a performance of 'The Simpsons In the Flesh' stage show at the Just for Laughs comedy festival, the shows creator Matt Groening noted Thursday his dad was born in Canada. Homer being named after Groening's father, so where does this lead Homer? 

"That would make Homer Simpson a Canadian," Groening said in an interview. "I hope Canadians won't hold it against the show now that they know.

Not all too surprising, as one fan noted, "Homer eats foods commonly associated with Canada: donuts, beer, bacon, and has been know to have a glass of maple syrup for breakfast.". 

Update (June 2, 2003): After Matt Groening stated his father, Homer Groening, was likely from Winnipeg, the city of Winnipeg declared Homer Simpsons and honorary Winnipegger on May 30, 2003. Although it has now be revealed the Homer Groening is more likely to hail from Main Centre, Saskatchewan it didn't have an effect on the 300 some people who attended the ceremony.  

Article written by Wade Penner
Source: Don't Have A Cow! Homer Simpson is a Canadian, creator says... (Yahoo! Canada)
Update Source:
Ross Romaniuk (Winnipeg Sun) - May 2003
Go check out BOTH these pages if you enjoy a good laugh, and are at least Canadian at heart.

http://ccr.ptbcanadian.com/simpsons/
http://ccr.ptbcanadian.com/index.htm

 

 

Musicians:

  • Shania Twain
  • Nelly Furtado
  • Our Lady Peace
  • Sloan
  • Jann Arden
  • k.d Lang
  • Holly Cole
  • Deborah Cox
  • Prarie Oyster
  • Great Big Sea
  • Corey Heart
  • Ashley McIssac
  • Neil Young
  • Sarah McLachlan
  • The Guess Who
  • Burton Cummings
  • Glen Gould
  • Joni Mitchell
  • Barenaked Ladies
  • Michelle Wright
  • 54-40
  • The Tragically Hip
  • The Crash Test Dummies
  • Avril Lavigne
  • Paul Anka
  • Alanis Morissette
  • Celine Dion
  • Amanda Marshall
  • Stompin Tom Conners
  • Bryan Adams
  • Blue Rodeo
  • Moist
  • Sum 41
  • Leonard Cohen
  • Sass Jordan
  • Paul Shaffer
  • Loverboy
  • Anna Murray


 

Comedians:

  • Jim Carrey
    Born January 17, 1962 in Newmarket, Ontario
  • Eugene Levy
    Born December 17, 1946 in Hamilton, Ontario.
  • Rich Little
    Born November 26, 1938 in Ottawa Ontario.
  • Howie Mandel
    Born November 29, 1955 in Toronto, Ontario.
  • Rick Mercer
    Born October 17, 1969 in St. John's, Newfoundland and Labrador.
  • Colin Mochrie
    Born November 30 1957 in Kilmarnock, Scotland. Moved to Canada in 1964.
  • Rick Moranis
    Born April 18, 1953 in Toronto, Ontario.
  • Mike Myers
    Born May 25, 1963 in Scarborough, Ontario.
  • Leslie Nielsen
    Born February 11, 1926 in Regina, Saskatchewan.
    Prefers comic roles.
    Brother of Hon. Eric Neilson, former Deputy Prime Minister.
  • Caroline Rhea
    Born April 13, 1964 in Montreal, Quebec.
  • Martin Short
    Born March 26, 1950 in Hamilton, Ontario.
  • Dave Thomas
    Born May 20, 1949 in St. Catharines, Ontario


 

Writers, Personalities, Politicians and Inventors:

  • Peter Jennings
  • Elizabeth Arden
  • Karen Kain
  • Alex Trebek
  • Keith Morrison
  • Alexander Graham Bell
  • Margaret Atwood
  • Farley Mowat
  • Marc Garneau
  • Naomi Klein
  • Julie Payette
  • Rachel McAdams
  • Lucy Maude Montgomery
  • James Cameron
  • Linda Evangelista
  • Michael Ondaatje
  • Ren & Stimpy
...feeling Canadian now, eh?
 
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